


Future Black

by Jadiona



Series: Life and Death Continuation [6]
Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Drama, Family, Fantasy, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Pack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-13
Updated: 2018-09-12
Packaged: 2019-07-11 16:11:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 20,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15975842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jadiona/pseuds/Jadiona
Summary: This story takes place in between the course of the middle of Chapter 6 and the start of Chapter 8 of my story, Death and Rebirth: New Moon Reimagined. It's written in Julie's perspective and explains her first shift and what happened through her eyes.





	1. Part I

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer and I do not own the rights to the Twilight Saga, Life and Death, or any of the accouterments in the series.
> 
> AN: I know that, if you've read Breaking Dawn, Jacob as a wolf doesn't read quite like this, but he's had time to learn how to filter out unnecessary info. Julie hasn't. She's a brand new wolf. So be prepared for a bit of hecticity.
> 
> And... No Julie doesn't imprint on Beau. I'll go so far as to say she wouldn't have imprinted on him even if he was human. She doesn't know it of course, but there's someone very special in her future.

**Part I**

"Will you take me down to see Charlie?" my mom asked, as she rolled her wheelchair into the hall to look at me.

So I could get another reminder that I'd failed completely? I didn't think so. "Call and ask Samantha to give you a ride." I could hear the all too familiar bitter rage and grief in my voice.

"Don't be like that, Julie."

"Why not? You won't tell me anything. Frankly, if I didn't know better I'd think she was your daughter and not me." I knew it was harsh. I knew I shouldn't say it. I didn't care, my own self loathing left me no room to care how much I hurt my mom.

"You'll learn what's going on soon enough." Her voice was sad, and I knew I should apologize for my behavior. I didn't. "I'll call Sam." She rolled backwards out of the hall and into the main area of the house.

It had been more than nine months since Beau had died. At least, that's what the papers said. I knew better though. Beau hadn't just died. I knew that truck he'd been in at the time. After all, I'd grown up riding around in that truck. So I knew, there was no way someone would fall asleep at the wheel doing sixty in that vehicle. It was too loud when you got it to that speed, wheezing and choking up the whole time. No one would sleep through that.

It really only left one option. Beau had intentionally driven into that ditch at that speed. He'd meant for it to happen.

And I'd seen the signs, and been too blind to help him. He'd been hanging out with people that made the hair on the back of my neck stand on end, going so far as to start mimicking the one's dressing style, Edythe, had showed a genuine paranoia of the supernatural, and he'd been legitimately unhappy here. All he would have had to do was give the truck to someone else and every box would have been checked on the depression checklist. Of course, he'd decided to take the truck with him instead, but I still should have seen it coming.

I should have tried to help him. I would have helped him if he'd just asked.

It had been nine months since I'd hacked my hair off in a moment of rage filled grief.

And it had also been nine months since my last period. The local doctor said it was normal for people who were particularly stressed and grieving to have irregular periods or lose them all together but had insisted that once I got back to normal they'd come back.

I didn't see how I was ever going to "get back to normal." I could have loved Beau, if he'd only stayed long enough to give me a chance. I could have shown him real happiness.

But he was gone, and all that was left was the ever festering rage telling me I should have done  _more_  and the bitter grief that pulsated with a life of it's own.

I heard Sam's truck pull up outside.

I didn't want to see her look at me with her omniscient eyes that seemed to say she knew something I didn't. I yanked open my window and slid out of it. Then I started to run as hard and fast as I could, pushing myself to run faster, hitting the dirt road leading two different directions in no time at all.

I could go left and head toward the beach and the road to Forks, or I could go right and head toward the cliffs. I went right. I didn't want to run into Quilla and Embrianna. I didn't want to talk to them and try and pretend to be happy. I wasn't happy. I hadn't been in months. If it weren't for my mom needing me...

I stopped the thoughts in their tracks, pushing myself even harder until my lungs were physically burning every time I took a breath, until my heart was pounding so hard that I could feel it. It wasn't enough to drown out the pain, the rage, the grief. It was never enough.

I pushed myself even harder.

…

I ran until I was deep in the the forest, probably having run a good ten miles, perhaps more. I wasn't sure. I knew at least a couple hours had passed since I'd taken off. I knew it was a bad idea to be in the woods, the sightings of the massive bear that had supposedly been killing campers had mostly been in the forest. Though it had also been spotted around Forks, down by Newton's Olympic Outfitters, even over at First Beach.

I didn't care. And even though I was physically exhausted, every muscle in my body screaming that I needed to rest – I was shaking from the strain on my muscles – it still wasn't enough.

I spun around, slamming my fist into a tree hard enough to bust open the skin on my knuckles. The physical pain felt good, something that I could focus on other than the emotions that never got any better. I shrieked, smashing my fist into the tree again. I felt something in my hand break, and the pain brought tears to my eyes. I was shaking even more violently. I ignored it, tightening my fist, I swung at the tree.

In the space of a tenth of a second, everything changed – my sight blurring and my head screaming something was wrong – pieces of clothing fluttered to the ground. What hit the tree wasn't a fist, but a massive, brown paw.

I fell to the forest floor on all fours – four giant paws, that was. I tried to demand what was going on, but what came out was a series of wolfs.

Suddenly it was as if I was in three places at once. I was still here, standing on four animal legs, in the depth of the forest, but I was somewhere else too. Staring at a scene from two different locations.

" _...Most nomads aren't brave enough to just walk up to a place that smells like a fortress."_ The double tinged ears left me reeling. I was hearing and looking at a man that reminded me of Beau from two different spots, but it was impossible, Beau was dead. Besides this young man didn't smell like Beau had. Who was he?

_Jules!_ The exclamation came from the two places I was seeing and hearing. What in the hell was going on with me?

" _You will tell me, if you find out who it is. So we can dispatch the vampire."_ I let out a snarl through my mouth, the sound shocking me, but matching my anger towards that voice which I recognized. She came to my house practically daily after all. Samantha Uley, the name was a curse in my mind.

_Don't think like that, Jules. I know this is disorienting and confusing for you, but Sam will help you. You'll see. Everything will make sense soon._ I finally recognized the voice that accompanied one of the set eyes as being Jaelyn Cameron. And if Sam was standing talking to the Beau-like being, that meant that the other set of eyes had to be Paula, it was the only rational option here

_Bingo._ Paula's voice, sarcastic and loud.

" _How would I get ahold of you if I figure it out?"_ It was the young man again. He was stiff as he spoke. Who was this man that reminded me so much of Beau?

_It's a vampire, not a man._ Paula again.

" _Come to the place where we've met before and wait there. It wouldn't take us very long to realize that you're there."_ Sam giving the young man orders like he was some sort of lap dog to pull around on a string. One of the young man's hands clenched into a fist. I'd punch her too, if I was him. He looked like a man to me, not some mythical creature.

" _Very well. I will do that."_ His voice was cold like an arctic wind.

_We need to get Sam's attention._

_We need to tell her that Jules has finally changed._

_You want to shift back and tell Sam? He already got an eyeful of you once. I'm much too modest, myself._

I snorted, the only thing modest about Paula was her short hair.

_I heard that._

_Why don't you shift?_

Through their eyes, I saw Sam open her mouth to reply even as Paula and Jaelyn continued to bicker.

**SHUT UP!** I screamed in my head turning my head to the sky and letting out an ear piercing howl.

Instantly, they both shut up, as if they had absolutely no choice but to be quiet.

In front of their eyes, I could see Sam mouth a word, it looked suspiciously like my name. Then suddenly Sam shivered rigidly for a mere moment – reminding me of my own exhausted muscles causing me to shake earlier – and then Sam burst apart, pieces of the sarong she'd been wearing floating in the air a moment before falling to the ground. What fell to the floor on four paws was huge with black fur. If it was about half it's size, I'd say it was a wolf.

_Jules, stay where you are._ I recognized the voice in my head as belonging to Samantha.

I growled. I wasn't about to take orders from her. The young man might be willing to be pushed around by her, but I wasn't

_You need to stay there, Jules. You aren't too far away from the border, and you're safe while you're on that side. You aren't on this side. Not with the vampire I was just talking to on this side._

Vampires aren't real. Sam started running in my directions, the other two – completely silent – running at her flank.

I heard it through their three sets of ears as the young man they'd left behind started to follow them. Paula started to stop, wanting to spin around and attack, wanting to protect them. But suddenly Sam's voice was thinking, whip-sharp.

_**Don't**_ ,  _let him follow us over the border if he's that stupid. We'll have proper justification for destroying him, then._

Paula picked back up her speed as if by some force outside of her control.

Who is the young man? I needed answers. Everything was twisted.

Suddenly the thoughts flooded me.

_Vampire._

_Our enemies._

_We're werewolves._

_He's a member of the Cullens, you know the myths that you told him because you didn't believe them. Well, they are all true._

_He's Beau Swan, or at least what's left of him._

_Really he's just a monster._

_He truly did kill himself just like you've long suspected, just not in the manner you thought._

_He's a bloodsucker that would kill his own father in an instant if given half of a chance._

_He's a killer._

_A freak of nature._

_He's the reason we're like this. The reason I had to break up with Lee-Lee._

_He'll destroy the the tribe, kill everyone in Forks._

_He's a disease that needs to be exterminated._

_He's why Elliott is scarred forever._

_He should have left with the rest of the freaks._

Round and round the voices went in my head. I couldn't tell who one was from the other. It was causing a blistering headache. I screamed, another howl raising in the air, this one louder than the first.

Sam put voice to my misery.  ** _Quiet_** _, let me talk to her._

Beau Swan is dead. I was there when his casket was put in the ground. I threw a handful of gravel on his grave.

_Did you see his body?_

It was too damaged to have an open casket. You know that. You saw the same papers I did. I knew she had, because I could see the papers in her mind the instant I had started to think about them.

I could tell from the other two, that even as they're thoughts were almost entirely muted, they were nearing the border.

_The Quileute border that is meant to keep the Cullens on their side of the line._

And is supposed to keep us on our side! I knew the legend of the treaty. The complete one, not the abbreviated one I gave to Beau all those months ago for the purpose of scaring him. What I hadn't known was that he'd actually believed them

_Perhaps if you'd kept your mouth shut the way you were supposed to, he'd still be alive._

You're telling me that he is following you. That makes him alive.

_That just makes him not buried the way he should be._

And even though the other two were essentially muted, I still heard the snarky,  _Or cremated._

All three of them breathed a mental sigh of relief, in spite of what Sam had thought earlier, none of them actually believed that Beau would cross onto our land. They'd all seen how hard he was trying to make them believe that there was still some part of him that was human. Of course, none of them believed that. And as I listened to these general beliefs without any actual thoughts behind them, I started to believe them too. It would be so very easy too fall into this... instinctual pack mentality.

I started to fall.

Just then, Paula spun around, sensing he was still following them. She growled and snapped her teeth, preparing to gather her body under her and launch herself at him. Intending to take his head off. It only took a moment for her instincts to register.

My reaction was instantaneous.  **NO!**

Every muscle and bone in Paula's body froze up under the force of my demand.

**You will not touch Beau.**

"Either kill me or let me see Julie," Beau snarled the worlds. For this first time I recognized something that very definitely wasn't human in him at all.

_I. Can't. Move. Towards him._ Paula mentally screeched, turning her head to look at Sam for help

_I won't be able to usurp her order, Paula. Jules is the born alpha._  Sam's thoughts tried to cut off, but still I saw. In a flash of a second and a half I was overloaded.

_What am I? How did I become this, this thing? How do I stop being it? I growled as I looked at my own reflection in the ocean. I'm supposed to be meeting Lee-Lee tomorrow so we can go look at rings. I can't show up to her looking like this! Some giant black creature straight out of a myth._

_A week passed and nothing changed for me. I still couldn't go back to looking like a human. I wondered if Lee-Lee had sent out a search party. How worried was he that I wasn't around. I howled in agony. Why couldn't I just wake up already._

_Another week passed, I was still this freakish creature. I was ready to jump into the ocean and see if I could drown myself. At least then this nightmare and misery would end. At least then I wouldn't have a million questions with zero answers. That was when Holly Clearwater found me. She explained it to me, made me understand that the stories I'd grown up believing were fiction, silly superstitions passed down for generations, were true. Not only were they true, but they were part of my history. She told me how I had to calm myself in order for me to find my human form again. I finally managed it._

_Months passed, I couldn't tell Lee-Lee any of what was going on with me, the genuine agony that filled me every time I met his eyes and couldn't just will the imprint connection so I could explain it all. Then his cousin, Elliott Young, showed up. The realization I'd found that one perfect speck of light in my life. The realization I'd imprinted to THE WRONG MAN. The inability to change it. The forceful break-up with Leland that followed. His realization when he noticed that I was now looking at his cousin in a way so similar and yet so very different from how I had once looked at him. His promise that if I pursued a relationship with his cousin then he'd be sure my guts would find there way onto the ground after he filled me with led from Holly's shotgun. The moment when I wondered if it would actually work. If I was taken to that spot of death where everything began to fade, would I be able to find that love for Leland again in that last moment so I could tell him just how sorry I truly was for destroying him so badly._

_The weeks that followed, the camping trip with Elliott, his disbelief as I told him what I was. Because I could tell him. That was the curse of all this. He was my supposed soul mate, so he could know it all. He would know why three lives were ruined. His. Mine. And Lee-Lee's. All because of those Cullens. The ones I wanted to force to leave before they destroyed anyone else. The anger in Elliott as I told him everything. He didn't believe me. The one sloppy moment ending in instant regret as my claws destroyed Elliott's once handsome face._

_More time passed, me promising that I'd find a way to allow him to live his life free of any compulsion he might feel toward me, even if it meant taking a gun to my head. The moment when Elliott started to comfort me, telling me everything would be alright._

_The moment that Jaelyn shifted and I had to show her what I knew, then, a few months later when Paula shifted for her first time. The realization that one of us had to become the leader because none of the ones who would be the natural alpha were old enough. Learning to force my will on the others by sheer belief and effort, stepping into the role that I knew I would someday pass to Jules when she changed, or if she never did, then to Sarah or Quilla in order of dissension of power._

I blinked trying to organize the massive overload of thoughts that had just hit me, trying to digest them.

Barely two heartbeats had passed since all the memories and thoughts started. Paula was still staring at Sam.

_Let him follow us. When Jules gets a whiff of him, she'll kill him herself._ Once again, I saw more than she wanted me to, I saw that she believed if I was a little resistant she could help push my nature forward with her Alpha skills. It wasn't a full formed thought, barely even articulated in the depths of her mind. But I was still able to see it.

I growled.

They started heading to me again. I darted forward, deciding to meet them. If Beau was some sort of vampire, not that I fully believed it, then there was no point in having him meet me at that tree where I'd drawn my own blood in my anger.

_You aren't thinking clearly, Julie. He isn't human, he isn't your friend._ Not Sam, but Jaelyn, her own thoughts hitting me so suddenly and so hard I almost crumpled under the weight of them.

_I was on the way out of La Push, full ride scholarship at Yale due to my Native American heritage that I'd spent months getting verifiable documents to prove it. Then absolutely everything changed. One day I was a normal girl, and then I just wasn't. I ceased to exist in an instant, becoming some brown being that resembled a dire wolf, then genuine fear that I was alone in this new world I'd been thrust into. My fear-filled howls in the night._

_Sam's voice in my head helping me remember who I was, helping me to understand every, the forceful realization that I would never be able to leave and move on with my life. Being told that I would never be able to let my mom know what was going on. I struggled with myself even as I managed to shift back to human._

_The weeks that I pretended to be sick while I learned to control my temper before I finally decided I was as ready as I was going to get and headed back to school. The moment that the world stopped spinning and started rotating in a new direction as my eyes landed on Kirk. It was probably the first time I'd ever noticed him in all the years we'd gone to school together. The amazing realization when it turned out he was already head over heals in love with me, his notebook filled with dozens of sketches of me. Some by myself, others with him in them._

_The short months that followed until suddenly I realized just how evil of monsters the Cullens really were. We confronted them. Sam, Paula and I. At first, only six of them were there, standing on their porch and staring at us in shock. Clearly they hadn't realized that we were still here to enforce the treaty that had been made._

_The leader, calling the other one home with a cell phone. I whined, there wasn't enough of us to end in anything other than our own bloodshed. That was why the treaty had been made, of course, to prevent it. Sam and Paula might have been prepared to die for this, but I finally had someone who was worth living for._

_The missing vampire appearing on the porch and hurtling over it, putting herself halfway between us and the rest. She wasn't the only one to appear though, a new vampire appeared on the porch. It was the human boy we were here to avenge. His eyes were vividly red. Suddenly I was ready to kill these vampires._

I was still running, my paws missing a step under the heavy burden of these new memories, but I still raced forward. I stopped in a small ravine.

A moment later Sam, Paula and Jaelyn entered the ravine. I got my first real look at them.

Sam was a huge, solid black wolf – her eyes as piercing black as her fur, except for the thin gold iris. On her left was Paula, a dark silver fur that bordered on brown with dark brown irises, and to the right was Jaelyn, who was a solid brown fur except for the dark gray mask shape of fur around her eyes.

Through their eyes, I saw myself for the first time. I had an almost copper tone to my fur, and they noted that I had to be as big as Sam.

Then Beau entered the ravine. He was farther from me than them, but still my eyes locked with his. They were gold, not blue anymore, but they were still beautiful.

The world righted itself.

Beau was still alive.


	2. Part II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer and I do not own the rights to the Twilight Saga, Life and Death, or any of the accouterments in the series.
> 
> AN: Okay, a lot of this section you've probably read a version of before through Beau's eyes, but this Jules first time seeing it. And now you get to see it through another's eyes.
> 
> Quick reminder, Jacob as a wolf in Breaking Dawn doesn't read quite like this, but he's had time to learn how to filter out unnecessary info. Julie hasn't. She's a brand new wolf.

**Part II**

I smelled him then. The scent was putrid, sort of like frozen bleach and ammonia mixed together. He looked like Beau, his genuine relief when he spotted me – in this strange form, no less – even seemed like Beau. But he wasn't Beau. Beau had never smelled like that.

Every instinct inside me told me that this thing in front of me would destroy me and mine. I didn't resist the instincts in my mind and body, screaming at me to destroy this threat before it did the same to me. I raced forward, only barely recognizing as the other three wolves moved to the side, getting out of my way.

I jumped at this being, whoever or whatever it was, before my mind had fully caught up with my decision. He raised his arm and my teeth sank into the skin of whatever he was, which definitely wasn't human. Instinctively I knew that what I was biting into was far too hard to be human, far too hard for what I should have been able to bite into.

We both fell to the ground, me on top of this being, my four paws spread to the sides of his body, not touching him anywhere except where I was biting him.

He let out a sharp grunt of pain, telling me that he still had some form of pain receptors. "Julie, it's me. It's Beau." He gritted his teeth after saying it.

The Beau I had known couldn't lie to save his life, I remembered that from our few short times together, but I couldn't be sure if this thing was lying or not.

_Finish taking his arm off,_ Sam exclaimed loudly from where she was.

I snarled. A large part of me wanted to. It was weird, I knew I should taste blood in my mouth, but I didn't. What just was this thing under me? If it was a vampire as they had postulated, shouldn't it practically be all blood? That was what vampires fed on, after all.

"Really, Julie. I know I'm different, but it's still me."

I glared at the person below me. The man claiming to be Beau. His eyes were not afraid, in fact, they were trusting. I tried to superimpose the ocean blue eyes I remembered Beau having – the beautiful eyes that had caught mine from the first moment I'd seen them. I couldn't quite make my memory of Beau with the being lying on the ground, but whoever – whatever – this man was beneath me, he believed in me.

_**What are you waiting for. Kill him. Kill Beau.**_ Sam, placing an order, every muscle in my body demanded I obeyed it. My teeth sunk just a little deeper into his arm.

Below me, he winced, genuine pain in his eyes. Eyes that I still couldn't quite match with Beau, but even Sam called him Beau in her demand. I paused.

_**What are you waiting for? Kill him. He isn't even fighting it.**_ Her words had the opposite affect on me of what I was sure she was wanting.

Why? As you said, he isn't fighting me.

_He's a vampire. It's your duty._

In spite of her words, I didn't bite down any harder. How could I, if this was, in fact, Beau. The boy I'd mourned for the last nine months.

_**You will OBEY.** _

I released Beau instantly – deliberately refusing Sam's command – staring at him for a few seconds longer, noting that his other arm was free and he could have reached out toward me at me anytime. Finally I turned my head to glare at Sam.  **I wasn't born to obey you.**  My mental voice had the same punch that hers did, perhaps stronger.

Sam flinched, the other two took a step back, the force of my will driving them.

Below me, I felt Beau writhe a little, obviously wanting to get up. If this man was Beau, and I let him up, then I just knew he would vanish. He'd disappear and I'd never see him again. Without consciously realizing my decision to do it, I smashed both of my front paws on his chest, demanding he stayed there.

He stopped moving.

_Why aren't you doing what I tell you?_ She thought loudly, trying to force her alpha's will on me, but it was no longer having any affect on me. The other two glanced worriedly between the two of us, recognizing that a major dynamic had changed between all four of us.

**I am Julie Black, the born alpha, and none of us will kill Beau**. My voice was loud, demanding and forceful in a way that I didn't know I was capable of.

In front of me, I felt all three of their minds bending under the force of what I was saying, physically shifting under the weight of my will. In many ways, it was terrifying. I didn't want that, to force them to be a slave to my desire, I tried to pull back. It worked.

_He will destroy us and destroy you if you do not kill him. He has broken the treaty. It is what should be done._ It wasn't a demand this time. Sam was instead trying to… reason with me. I could see it in her mind that she was trying to make me understand her side of things. She wanted me to accept her viewpoint.

What treaty? His parents weren't even born when Carine Cullen agreed with Emmaline Black that she would reside peacefully in Forks and not bother us, so that we didn't end up in a blood bath that no one would win. I could remember the full story, the lengthy bedtime legends that Bonnie used to tell me, explaining that my ancestor, along with Quilla Ateara and Lexi Uley, had agreed to a treaty in order to try and protect the tribe from entire annihilation, knowing that the by-laws they placed in it were totally unenforceable given the size of the coven that they'd been met with. A coven that was unlike any vampires they'd ever met before.

Sam looked past me at Beau, starting for a moment at his golden eyes.  _Those are the eyes of a vampire who hunts and drinks from animals. He is a Cullen. He is to obey the same treaty that they are._ But her thoughts betrayed her for the lie she'd just told. I was thrown back in time with her mind, seeing an event that I was quite certain she hadn't wanted me to.

" _You're late," I said, crossing my arms over my flimsy t-shirt, wishing I'd bothered to wear something more sturdy, not that any clothing would protect me if the bloodsucker decided my blood would make a good meal._

_The vampire that had been an innocent human not all that long ago took a breath, almost flinching as he did so. "I had to change clothes before I showed up."_

" _Worried what we'll think? We already know you're a monster." My voice was steady. It was strange though, how human he tended to act given that he was a leech._

" _I'm not human. That doesn't make me a monster though, it just makes me different." The way he said it suggested I was being a hypocrite given that I wasn't human either._

_I cut off any stirring of compassion that might have started to show. "You drink blood to survive, I don't know how you can define yourself as anything other than a monster." I let the revulsion in my voice be clear._

" _I actually don't, have to, that is. I could go indefinitely without blood if I so chose. I drink blood because I don't want to be in pain anymore. The blood is a desire, not a necessity, much the way chocolate or steak is for any of you." When we'd met earlier, he'd look strung out in a way similar to drug addicts that hadn't had a hit in too long did. I didn't believe that he could truly go indefinitely, unless he was at the bottom of the ocean perhaps. Our legends claimed his kind didn't need to breath._

" _We don't kill for our food."_

_His eyes flashed and he opened his mouth to retort. But Bonnie, sitting in her wheelchair just in front of me, beat him to it. "Enough." She pushed herself farther in front of me, deliberately ignoring what I'd told her to do before we arrived. "This is a petty argument, Samantha. We may not agree with what he has become but as long as he is not hunting humans then it is not our place to judge him."_

_Wasn't it our place? Wasn't that our duty? According to Holly it was._

_Behind me, Jaelyn muttered, "At least not openly."_

" _I want to see your eyes," Bonnie stated_

" _That isn't a good idea, Bonnie. Sam insisted that I show up after only two hours and it wasn't enough time to effectively hunt after not feeding for as long as I had. I am in control for now, but it only takes a momentary lapse in judgment for that to change." He paused as he took another breath, once again practically flinching. "Besides, my eyes are still almost completely black, I don't know if human eyes would be sharp enough to see the hint of gold in them."_

" _How do I know that you haven't been hunting humans if I can't see your eyes? That's the only tell that we are aware of," Bonnie complained, rolling even closer to him. He skittered backward practically the exact same distance that she rolled forward._

" _Bonnie, I am trying to keep enough distance that if I have a lapse in judgment, then Sam and the others will hopefully have enough time to stop me. I do not want to take a life, least of all yours. My dad has already lost far too much." Beau's eyes flashed to me for a mere moment before looking back at Bonnie. The plea was clear. In that moment I realized he would truly rather than die than take a life. At least the life of someone he knew, like Bonnie here._

" _His eyes aren't red, Bonnie," I said, stepping closer to her, wanting to be there in case this vampire did have the lapse he so obviously feared._

" _You say you don't want to take a life then don't," Bonnie dictated._

_My lips twitched, I knew it couldn't be that simple._

_His next words iterated my own thought."You make it sound so simple."_

" _Because it is."_

" _I wish it was, but it isn't," he said, looking closely at all of us before he took a deep breath, almost diving forward as he moved and knelt right in front of Bonnie. I took a surprised breath. The legends taught us they could move and I'd seen a little of it before, with the Cullens, but even so, such a display had me blinking._

" _I want you to imagine eating a very hot pepper, say a habenero or a ghost pepper. Imagine the fire in your mouth, your throat. Now imagine there was a pitcher of ice cold water in front of you, promising to put out the fire. If you know anything about eating spicy peppers then you know drinking that water isn't a good idea, but at that moment, that wouldn't matter. I can't think of many people who would resist drinking that pitcher of water." He took a breath so he could continue talking, this time the flinch he made was obvious. "That's what it's like for me, only a thousand times more potent. And unlike with the person drinking the pitcher of water, where it doesn't really help. Drinking human blood does. When my kind aren't thirsty, then the pain stops for a short while, though it never lasts."_

_He stood back up, backing away almost as quickly as he'd came forward. He didn't glance at me, but I could still see the genuine fear in his eyes. I couldn't help but wonder if he'd almost pushed himself too hard, coming that close._

" _I am trying to understand, at least a little, Beau. But if what you are saying is true then how do I know that you haven't been hunting. There's been a vampire in the woods these last couple of weeks," Bonnie said. I could tell her that it hadn't been him. That much had been obvious the moment I'd seen him at his house earlier. I'd never seen eyes as black as his had been. If he'd been hunting the dead humans, they wouldn't have looked like that._

" _We haven't caught it yet," Jaelyn stated behind me._

" _First of all, until today, I hadn't moved at all in months, frozen in place like a statue. If Sam hadn't showed up on my property I'd still be a statue. Secondly, if I'd hunted a human in the last couple of weeks, my eyes would be red. As she already told you, there's no red in my eyes."_

" _What do you mean, a statue?"_

" _I was... shocked to find the people that I thought were my family had left me behind. It wasn't expected. Stillness is an involuntary reaction for my kind, similar to jumping for a human, or." He paused for a brief moment. "Shifting for the werewolves here."_

_I had to admit to myself that he was quick, not that I'd ever complement him out loud._

" _And why did they leave?"_

" _Edythe and I assumed we were mates, and I think that – when I was human – we were. But change is hard for vampires to acclimate to. We are, in many ways, a living stone. Change is rare, and when it happens, it's often permanent. I believe Edythe changed when she met me originally. Unfortunately when I physically changed, she was unable to change again. I became too different from the human boy with the sweet smelling blood that she loved, at least that's how I've made sense of it." He winced several times as he spoke, but didn't pause. "They left a letter that I found and in it, it was made clear that without us being mated, there was no place for me in their family. I can understand that."_

" _But you still lover her," Bonnie said. It was an unnecessary statement. It was obvious from the pain in this vampire's eyes that it was true._

" _Yes, my human life ended being in love with her... I was changed loving her. It's a part of me. I doubt it will ever change." The raw pain in his voice was clear, it took far more effort than I wanted to admit to not show any sympathy over his words. He looked away from us, composing himself perhaps._

" _Yet you haven't followed her."_

_He looked back at Bonnie. "I would never disrespect their wishes in such a way. Besides, I am no tracker." He grinned then, obviously thinking of something none of us understood. Perhaps it was a specific type of vampire? I wasn't sure._

" _It sounds like they didn't respect you, though."_

" _What does that matter? I'm not them. I will never be a Cullen." He flinched. "I'm just another vampire refusing to accept my natural desires. I will not hunt humans, Bonnie. I may not have a choice about what I have become, but I can choose to be good."_

" _And why are you still here, anyways? What are your intentions?"_

" _I'm here to watch over my dad." He lifted his lip viciously, snarling.. "That thing you promised me you would do. I visited his house a few months ago, Bonnie. Is leaving someone a chronic alcoholic what you think of when you think of taking care of someone?"_

" _What did you expect? You were his only son, it hasn't been easy on him."_

" _I expected you to contact me if there was something I could do. If he's drinking that much, taking those type of pills that he is, not sleeping well, etc. Then he needs professional help. The Cullens had the money to put him through rehab. All you had to do was tell me that he needed it."_

" _You just said that you aren't a Cullen though."_

" _It doesn't mean I didn't have access to their money while they were here." He was getting angrier as he spoke._

" _Hmph, well I don't exactly have you on speed dial, Beau."_

_He arched an eyebrow. "They've invaded the Cullen property, now my property, twice." He waved his hand toward us. "I'm sure they would have come and spoke to me if you'd asked them to."_

" _Hmph," Bonnie grumbled again. "It's my understanding that you want to remain here until the end of the school year."_

" _I..." He paused for a second. "No. You know what, that isn't enough. I am an innocent, Bonnie. I want to remain here, in the shadows, until my dad has either found peace with my death and moved on, or until he dies. I may not be able to do anything else for him. But I will protect him in the only way I can. I will not move to god knows where only to find out from some newspaper that I wasn't here to stop him from putting a bullet in his temple. All because his best friend is not helping him the way that she should."_

_I was starting to worry that the snap he had been so clearly afraid of was dangerously close to happening._

" _If you hadn't associated yourself with vampires then your father wouldn't be grieving you now." I said, trying to make him see sense._

" _No, if I hadn't associated with vampires, then I'd just be dead, he'd still be grieving. They saved my life, more than once. Forget about what turned me into this, before that when I was in Port Angeles, I was almost shot and killed because a group of criminals assumed I was a cop. Actually, let's predate that event even. Only about a week after I started school here I was almost killed by a van running into my truck when I was standing right in the trajectory of that van. Both of those times, they saved my life._

" _And if they could have saved my human life the last time with Joss, they would have, but I'd already been bit some minutes before they arrived and I was in bad shape. My femoral artery had been sliced open by some chunks of a mirror, I had a concussion and was bleeding from a head wound, and several of my ribs had been broken, at least one of which had pierced my left lung. They were originally going to try and suck the venom out, like with a snake bite, but it had spread too far already, even then... if there'd been the slightest chance that I could have survived, they would have gone through with it. Reality is though that without the venom, I probably would have died well before they could have gotten me to an emergency room." The conviction in his words made it clear he was being honest. I didn't want to accept it though._

" _A shooting? In Port Angeles? I remember nothing about that."_

" _It never happened, Bonnie, but it almost did. I got lost and turned down the wrong road. A group of people dealing drugs or weapons or something were at the end of the alley. Three of them came after me, and one pointed a gun after another claimed I was a..." He closed his eyes as he spoke, pausing briefly. "A pig, that's what one of them said to me. They would have killed me and walked away, but at that moment, Edythe drove up. She saved my life."_

" _That's horrible," Jaelyn murmured behind me._

_Beau gave Jaelyn a brief smile as he looked at her, there was nothing happy about the smile at all. "What, you didn't think my species is the only monster that goes bump in the night, did you? Most murders are caused by humans."He looked back at Bonnie. "You should know better than most, vehicular homicide wasn't it? That killed your husband."_

_Bonnie nodded. "And these people, what happened to them?"_

" _I honestly don't know. I know if I hadn't stopped Edythe then she would have killed them. She wanted to, she asked me to stay in the car and not watch, but by then I knew, or at least suspected, what she was. I'd been told ghost stories by your daughter just a few days prior, Bonnie. She of course assumed they were fiction. I took them a bit more seriously, and after being told that they only drank from animals, I didn't want her to do something she'd regret. So I stopped her. I assume those people are still out there somewhere."_

" _You stopped her?" Paula exclaimed incredulously. I had to agree with her. "At the time you were exactly what, a hundred and fifty pound human? Shy of offering her your wrist, I don't see how you could have stopped her."_

" _I told her if she got out of the car, then I would too. Looking back, probably a stupid idea, but it had the desired effect." Beau glanced briefly at Paula as he spoke._

_Paula snorted._

" _You're asking for a lot, Beau," Bonnie said._

" _I'm asking to be there for my dad in the only way left for me until something changes. It isn't that much."_

" _He's only forty-one. He could easily live another forty years. So that is a lot."_

" _Bonnie," he said, exasperated. "I'm not a medical expert, but even I know, with the way he's drinking, he likely won't survive another five. There's so many diseases that come from being an alcoholic, not to mention the drugs that he isn't supposed to mix with alcohol but has been."_

" _That's still a lot. You have already explained how hard it is to control yourself."_

" _That would be my problem though, wouldn't it?" His eyes flashed. Apparently talking about his control was a sore subject. "I will fight for my right to stay here and watch over him. I know I probably wouldn't win, I'd probably end up dead, but I would still fight. He's the only person left that gives my life, or undeath or whatever you want to call it, any amount of meaning."_

_In front of me Bonnie muttered something in Quillayute that sounded suspiciously like, 'a dog just pissed on my shorts.' It was an equivalent of a swear._

" _Let him stay," I said calmly, forcefully, looking down at Bonnie as I did so. He'd convinced me that there was no reason worth causing Bonnie pain over it by refusing him and then having to kill him. I couldn't completely understand his desire, having been abandoned by my mother, Jordan Uley, when I was young and being raised by my grandparents instead. My father too, had never been in the picture, a man named Andrew Aturak who had only been here for one summer on college vacation. But still, I could imagine the reason behind his desire. I looked up at him."You will be bound by the same laws as the Cullens, do you understand? That means no crossing onto our land, and most importantly, you are not allowed to bite a human under any circumstances."_

" _I understand," he agreed immediately._

_I was concerned he wasn't clear on what I was telling him. "That means that when your father is on his deathbed, be that from old age, an overdose, or whatever the case may be, you will let him go. If you turn him, we will hunt down and kill both of you."_

" _I would never turn my father," Beau snarled, his eyes flashing in something I could only think of as a blood rage. "I am cursed to walk this Earth alone for eternity, do you honestly think I'd do this to someone else?"_

_I took a step back in spite of myself, mentally slapping myself for showing any weakness. Then I stepped back up. "If that is truly how you feel about yourself then it doesn't have to be eternity."_

_It was our job after all, and if he didn't want to remain a vampire then it was something we could fix._

_Bonnie spun around in her wheelchair, narrowing her eyes at me, making it clear that she would not allow it even before she spoke. "No, not without cause."_

_I looked down at her, pulling my body up to it's full stature even as I did so, reminding her that I was the actual chief now, not her. Her eyes sparked angrily, reminding me that her daughter was eventually going to join us and that right was hers, not mine._

_Beau spoke up then, "Thank you, for the offer. But I actually do. You see, Sam, there is a price to associating with vampires, this is mine. An eternity of loneliness." I could hear the silent self condemnation in his words._

_I looked back up at him. "Very well, but you understand the terms of our agreement."_

" _I told you already that I understand."_

" _Paula, get Bonnie in the van," I said without taking my eyes off of Beau. Paula came forward and picked her up, taking her back to the vehicle._

_I turned my back on Beau and walked back toward Jaelyn, watching to make sure Bonnie was back in the vehicle._

_I heard the vampire take a step, I assumed backwards because he probably figured we were done. I put one finger up in the air to tell him he should wait without speaking. I had more to say to him and Bonnie couldn't know what I was to tell him. He didn't move again._

_Finally, after Bonnie was settled back in the van and Paula was in the driver's seat, I turned back to him. "One last thing, should you mess up, the Cullens will also pay for your transgression."_

_His shock at my demand was clear. "I cannot speak for them, Sam. Only myself."_

" _On the contrary, you may claim they aren't your family, but they left you their house, so you are, at the very least, an ambassador for them. If you stay, and you mess up, you will condemn them to the same fate as yours."_

" _That is too much to ask of me, Sam. You cannot damn seven innocents just because of a completely different person's actions."_

" _I actually can and I will. You have your terms, if you aren't gone by the end of month, then you will be agreeing to them." I turned my back on him, changing shapes and taking off._

Barely two seconds had passed for the entirety of the memory to run it's course in my head. Sam was only just turning her head to look back at me.

How dare she try to pass dictations without my mother's permission or me present. I huffed out my aggravation, not caring that I hadn't even known Beau was alive when she did that. She'd had no right.

"There any way all of you can switch form so I can find out what the hell is being said about me?" Beau asked beneath me.

I turned my head so I could stare at him and growled softly, wanting him to know he wasn't going anywhere. I still needed to understand more before I could talk to him, myself. I honestly wasn't sure how to become human again, and if I moved, he might vanish before I had the chance to talk to him.

"Guess that's a no. Can you let me up then? I won't run."

Over to the side, Sam growled, not at him, but at me. I could tell she thought he wouldn't run. He wouldn't have come on this property just to turn tail.  _Don't you dare let him up. It's bad enough that he is here._  I could hear her once again trying to command me, but her will washed across me like it was air, with no force to drive me to do it. I didn't move though, not yet. In spite of her belief that he wouldn't move, I didn't trust that he wouldn't.

"And that would be a no, too. Fine. Wake me up once you're ready to actually talk to me, or kill me, or whatever you're planning."

Jaelyn laughed, the sound coming out as a coughing bark through her mouth thinking, _How the hell do we wake up a creature that never falls asleep?_

I whined unhappily though, looking at him forlornly as I did so. How dare he even suggest that we kill him. I'd only just found out he still existed. I wasn't about to condemn him.

_He broke the treaty!_ Sam exclaimed, her mental voice unhappy with my thoughts.

Beneath me, Beau closed his eyes.

I turned my head to glare back at Sam.


	3. Part III

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer and I do not own the rights to the Twilight Saga, Life and Death, or any of the accouterments in the series.
> 
> AN: Quick reminder, Jacob as a wolf in Breaking Dawn doesn't read quite like this, but he's had time to learn how to filter out unnecessary info. Julie hasn't. She's a brand new wolf.

**Part III**

I lifted my lip just enough to show my teeth.  **Tell me more**. I didn't even try to lessen the command. I needed to understand and they seemed to be the ones with the knowledge that I needed.

I was instantly assaulted by dozens of thoughts and images from all three of them. It was overload and my brain practically shut down from it.  **Stop.**   **One at a time, please.** I wasn't even trying to command them. It was just just coming out that way. I focused on trying to not force my will on them.

_It's about more than just your will. It's all those emotions that have been burning inside of you for months now. They're pushing your alpha power to new heights,_ Sam advised.

Okay, I could do this. I just needed a starting spot. I'd seen a general meander of Sam's and Jaelyn's memories already. It really only left Paula. I was sure, desiring to know her history, was invasive and probably rude too, but I was also quite sure that with this mind reading dynamic that we seemed to share, it would be impossible for me not to know this info in time anyways. I looked up at Paula.

_Oh, why the hell not._ Unlike when I'd accidentally seen Sam's memory or even the reluctant sharing Jaelyn had given just to prove a point to me, Paula didn't honestly seem to care. I was ripped backwards into a memory.

" _Screw you, mom." I shouted angrily._

" _It's a once in a lifetime chance for you. Your father went to a lot of trouble to get you this," My mother, Virginia Lahote, said to me._

_The chance of a lifetime internship at the law office in Tacoma where my father worked that was supposed to start next week and last for the entirety of my summer break. My parents both believed that it would be a stepping stone to the future for me. They didn't seem to realize that I didn't want that future. I had my own dreams and desires. Next year was my senior year and I was going to get out of here with a volleyball scholarship, planning to eventually go professional. I had no desire to ever follow my dad's path._

_I couldn't even believe that my mother was so willing for me to do it. Had she forgotten what had led to their divorce almost ten years ago now. I couldn't. I'd been the one that had found him with his secretary kneeling in front of him when I was only seven. I still remembered telling mom as well as the months of arguing that followed before the divorce finally happened and mom moved me up here._

_I still hated him for his infidelity. I was still angry with him. I was also angry with my mom for ever forgiving him. I was angry at my friends for ditching me for the summer. I was angry at Samantha and Jaelyn who kept staring at me funny. In fact, I was angry at pretty much everyone, all the time._

_I was so angry at the moment that I was shaking with it. I walked several feet away from my mom but could feel her following me. I spun on her, intent to give her a piece of my mind. Halfway through the spin, I burst out of my own skin and what came out of my mouth was a loud growl as I glared hatefully at my mother._

_Then, before I could make a move, Sam – whose voice I recognized as I'd literally just been thinking about her – was suddenly shouting in my head to stop._

_It took days for me to find my human form after that. I didn't want to let go of my anger. In fact I had half a brain to hunt my dad down. Sam was there though, every time I started getting more violent, more angry. She helped me to focus my own rage and anger. She helped me to find my human form and helped me to make my mom understand what had happened right in front of her._

The memory vanished. Paula was looking back at me, her mental voice sarcastic.  _At least I didn't have to go do that internship._

Unlike with Jaelyn and Sam, who I'd seen months of memories in mere seconds, Paula had shown me one specific memory. In many ways it indicated far more control than any of them believed she tended to have. It also showed me everything that was important.

Unlike Sam, who hated the vampires because of her start as a wolf and the eventual break up with Lee, Paula's hatred was influenced by Sam's opinions. And yet, Paula's hatred was – in many ways – more all consuming than even Sam's.

I needed to know what happened after you discovered Beau was a vampire.

Sam took control of the memories that were shoved into my head.

" _Let her translate," the big female said as she grabbed Beau up on the porch, to stop him from following Edythe into the lawn. I was relatively certain that the female was called Eleanor._

_I snarled, stepping forward. **Prepare to fight** , I demanded, demanded because Jaelyn was still torn about the idea of being here. It helped solidify her mind._

_I took a step forward, growling._

" _Sam." It was the one in the yard. I turned my head to her. There was nothing she could say that would stop me from attacking. "You have no right to be here. We haven't broken the treaty."_

_'Do you think I'm blind! I can see that the treaty was broken.' I snarled._

" _They didn't attack," their leader said. "I don't know what they want."_

" _The want us to leave. They were trying to drive you out."_

_I noticed that she didn't mention that our intentions had very much changed._

" _But why?" The leader, Carine, asked._

" _They thought we broke the treaty – that we killed Beau."_

_I started growling loudly. 'What you've done to him is a thousands times worse than killing him.'_

" _But –," Carine started._

_I wondered if she was honestly about to state that he wasn't dead. Edythe cut her off._

" _Obviously, they still think we broke the treaty – that we chose to change him ourselves."_

_I could see that Carine was facing me, but I didn't move my focus from Edythe._

" _I can promise you, that's not how it happened." The leader sounded almost like she was pleading for our understanding. It sounded false to my ears._

_I half snapped my teeth as I continued growling. 'How am I supposed to believe you leeches? Let the boy speak if there's any truth to this.'_

_Edythe tensed momentarily, and I thought she was going to refuse. It would confirm my suspicions. Finally, she spoke. It sounded reluctant. "Beau, can you tell them? They aren't going to believe us."_

_I shifted my eyes so I could watch Beau better as he shook himself and jumped off the porch, joining Edythe. He looked confused._

" _Beau, these are the Quileute wolves. You remember the story." Edythe spoke fairly loudly, It made me wonder if vampires might have hearing problems. Edythe's lips, very briefly, twitched._

" _The –" He broke off as if unsure of his words, his eyes grew slightly wider all of a sudden. "They're werewolves?"_

_I snarled, behind me, Jaelyn huffed her amusement at his expression._

" _Not exactly," Edythe stated._

_Her words threw me. What did she mean by that?_

" _A long time ago, we made a treaty with another pack leader. They think we've violated it. Can you tell them how you were transformed?"_

" _Um, okay..." Beau looked at me. "I'm, uh, Beau Swan –"_

_His awkwardness was making me lose my patience. Besides, it wasn't like I hadn't met him before, remembering when I'd told that infuriating boy from Forks that the Cullens didn't come to our beach._

_Edythe cut him off. "She knows who you are. You met Sam once – at the beach in La Push."_

" _Oh," he said, his eyes widening again._

" _Just explain to her what happened."_

" _Right." He was looking at me funnily now, as if he couldn't quite figure out how I looked like this. "Uh, a few weeks ago, there was a tracker – er, a vampire tracker – who came through here. She liked the way I smelled. The Cullens told her to back off. She left, but Edythe knew she was planning to try to kill me. I went back to Phoenix to hide out till the Cullens could... well, take care of her, you know."_

_He clearly meant kill her. This boy, Beau, was so awkward and downright shy it made it hard for me to believe he was lying._

" _But the tracker figured out where I was and caught up to me. It was a game to her, a game with the Cullens – I was just a pawn. But she didn't want to kill me. She... I guess you could say she was playing with her food. The Cullens found me before she could kill me, but she'd already bitten me. Hey – do we still have the video?" He looked at Edythe._

_She shook her head, staring at me intently. I narrowed my eyes. 'Stay out of my head.' Her lips twitched again_

_Beau looked at me again. "That's too bad. The tracker was filming the whole thing. I could have shown you exactly what happened."_

_Paula's mental voice, saying there was no way that he was lying made me look back towards her. I hated to admit she was right, but even I couldn't deny that. I looked toward Jaelyn whose thoughts were once again on her imprint._

_I looked back toward Edythe. 'You need to meet with Bonnie Black. She is our sitting chief. Just three of you, and Beau needs to be one of the three.'_

" _That's acceptable. Where?"_

_I thought in my mind of a location just on this side of the border. Edythe nodded, telling me she'd seen it. I started backing up, not wanting to turn away from her until I was in the forest._

The memory stopped, but I wasn't done learning. What happened at the meeting?

Paula's mind took over, showing me what happened next.

_I pulled the car over, parking a slight distance from the three bloodsuckers. I should have let Sam drive. I didn't like being this close to them in human form and Sam had offered. But I was replaceable if something went wrong and she wasn't. I didn't have an imprint and I also wasn't the alpha. It's why it made sense for me to drive._

_I took a calming breath before getting out of the car. Bonnie hadn't said a word since I'd started driving her here. I was sure she was making up her own mind about the story we'd told her._

_Sam bumped my leg gently as I stepped onto the ground, reminding me she was still there even if I couldn't hear her in this form. I place my hand in her hair for a mere half a second, calming myself further. I stepped around the vehicle and opened Bonnie's door, picking her up and carrying her out of the car, walking behind Jaelyn and Sam as they moved closer to the Cullens. Bonnie probably weighed in the high one hundred pounds, even so, it was the equivalent of carrying a backpack for me._

_We stopped a good fourth of a football field away from the Cullens, enough distance to get Bonnie away if we needed. Of course, that was the other reason I was in this form. I was the fasted runner in human form._

" _I can't see as well you," Bonnie complained._

_Slowly, we edged forward another ten yards._

_I was not happy being this close and completely defenseless. I made a note to look into creating some sort of harness/saddle that Bonnie could freaking ride in on one of our backs if this happened again._

" _Hello, Bonnie," the head bloodsucker said._

" _I can't see, Paula." Bonnie again. I wanted to yell at her, but didn't want to show any outward conflict. We edged forward another ten yards._

_Finally it was close enough as Bonnie's eyes landed firmly on the head vampire. "Carine Cullen, I should have put it together sooner. It wasn't till I saw you at the funeral that I realized what had happened."_

" _But you were wrong," the psychic leech spoke. I refused to think of them by their names._

" _That's what Sam says. I'm not sure she's right." In my arms, Bonnie shuddered. I couldn't see her face, but there was only one truly disturbing sight in front of us. The boy who'd been human not that long ago and now had pink eyes. None of us understood the color. It wasn't what had been described in any of our histories._

" _All we have is Beau's word and our own. Will you believe either?" The psychic again._

_Bonnie grunted._

" _Please," the leader spoke softly, likely seeking sympathy. "We've never hurt anyone here. We won't start now. It would be better for us not to leave immediately, otherwise we would go without an argument."_

" _You don't want to look guilty," Bonnie stated._

" _No, we would rather not, and in truth, we are not in breach."_

" _Then where is Beau? Do you expect me to believe he's inside that thing that bears some slight resemblance to him?"_

_I didn't really disagree with her. He was just another monster now, like the rest of them. Even if they didn't break the treaty._

" _Bonnie, it's me," the he in question said._

_Bonnie flinched._

_I noticed as he grabbed the psychic's hand, gripping it tightly in his own, before he took a small breath._

" _I know I look and sound a little different, but I'm still me, Bonnie."_

" _So you say." In those three words she made her opinion clear on him still being the boy she'd once known._

_He raised his empty hand and let it fall, trying to approximate a sign of helplessness. But since we all knew exactly what he now was, it didn't jive. "I don't know how to convince you. What I told Sam was true – another vampire bit me. She would have killed me, too, except that the Cullens got there in time. They didn't do anything wrong. They were always trying to protect me."_

" _If they hadn't gotten involved with you, this would never have happened! Charlie's life wouldn't be broken in pieces – you'd still be the boy I knew."_

_Beau grimaced slightly, sort of like he'd hoped she wouldn't make this argument. "Bonnie, there's something you didn't know about me... I used to smell really good to vampires."_

_Bonnie flinched again. I could tell he was telling the truth. Even though he had no heartbeat, blush or anything else for a tell. It was just so obvious by the way he spoke._

" _If the Cullens hadn't been here, those other vampires would still have come to Forks. They might have killed more than me while they were here, but I can promise you, if Charlie had survived, he would be missing me just the same. And there would be nothing left of the boy you used to know. You might not be able to see it, but I'm still here, Bonnie."_

_Bonnie shook her head. "I'll concede that the treaty is intact. Will you tell me your plans?"_

" _We'll stay here another year. We'll leave after Edythe and Archie graduate. It will look natural that way," the leader claimed._

_Bonnie nodded. "All right. We'll wait. I apologize for our infraction tonight. I..." The pain filled sigh that left Bonnie's lips made me wince. "It was a mistake. I was... overwrought."_

" _We understand. There was no harm done. Maybe even some good. It's better to understand each other as much as possible. Perhaps we could even talk again some –"_

" _The treaty is unbroken. Don't ask any more from us," Bonnie said over the leader._

_The leader nodded._

_That was when everything changed in an instant. Suddenly the breeze brew from a different direction and in that moment both the psychic and the leader grabbed the male's arms in a way that could only be described as violent._

_In front of me, Sam snarled._

_I was shocked by the display and wasn't sure if I should race back to the car and get Bonnie out of there, or put her down and try to help male vampire._

" _What are you doing to him?" Bonnie shouted._

" _Protecting you," the psychic snapped back._

_Jaelyn took a step forward. I didn't know if she was reacting to Sam or what._

_The male took a breath and winced, I could see his whole body tensing, coiling and then, a moment later, relaxing._

" _No, don't worry, Bonnie. I'm new to this, and they don't want me to... lose it, you know? But I'm okay."_

_The psychic let go of his arm, apparently accepting his words, while the leader glanced at him in surprise, but didn't let go._

_The boy took another short breath. I almost wondered if he was trying to prove to himself that he could._

" _So it sounds like I won't have a chance to talk to you again. And I'm sorry it's that way. I guess I don't understand all the rules yet. But since you're here, if I could just ask one favor..."_

" _What?" Bonnie's voice was cold._

" _My dad." He stopped for a moment and it almost sounded like he was sobbing. It was a strange sound to hear out of a vampire, so very human. The psychic raised her arm, clearly placing her hand on his back. She was comforting him. "Please, just... take care of him? Don't let him be alone too much. I never wanted to do this to him... or my mom. That's the hardest part of all this. For me, it's fine. I'm good. If only there was anything I could do to make it better for them, I would, but I can't. Could you please watch out for him."_

_Edythe looked at him sympathetically. There was so much pain in both their faces I could almost believe that some part of them was still human. Almost._

" _I would have done that regardless," Bonnie said._

_I had to wonder how she'd have time. We'd all seen the fast spinning spiral that her daughter was in after the news of this boy's death had hit the papers._

" _I know. I couldn't help asking, though. Do you think... you could let me know if there was ever something I can do? You know, from behind the scenes."_

_Bonnie nodded with a slow deliberance. "I suppose there may be some of Beau left after all."_

_Or he was a very good actor. I wasn't sure which was more likely._

_Bonnie spoke again and I almost dropped her due to her words. "Is there anything else I can do for you?"_

_Beau straightened as if he'd been zapped, but after a moment replied. "If... Will you ever tell Jules about any of this? Or will it always be a secret?"_

_Oh, she would know. Sam, Jaelyn and I were running a pool on how long it was going to be. We all were guessing sometime in the next two to three months at the most._

" _Jules will know soon enough."_

" _Oh. Okay. Well, if she can know about me, can you tell her that I'm happy? It's not so bad, this whole thing."_

_Bonnie shuddered in my arms. "I'll tell her what you said."_

" _Thanks, Bonnie."_

The memory faded, and Paula's mental voice added.  _We left right after that._

But he wasn't happy in the memory I'd seen through Sam's mind not that long ago. What had changed? I saw a flash of memory by Jaelyn.

_We looked over the camp site. The dead man had been thrown sloppily off the rocks, but it was obvious that he had died up here. The smell of vampire and dried blood permeated the campsite. It was the second vampire murder we'd been made aware of._

_It had been almost four months since the Cullens had taken off suddenly. We'd all been surprised by them leaving, but we'd still rejoiced. We'd had bonfires at the beach to celebrate and everything. Then, about a month ago, we'd gotten news of the first body, and now we found this one._

Sam took over with a memory from several days after that.

_I headed in the direction of the Cullens property, Paula and Jaelyn a little ways behind me. There had been no sign of any of them for months, but still... with two people having been drained by a vampire. It was pertinent to check._

_As I got close, the stench of vampires was still exceedingly strong. I wrinkled my nose. There was nothing that I could quite compare it to, though I imagined the scent was something similar to mustard gas. It was positively wretched._

_I breached the trees just as a vampire jumped off the porch of their house and landed in the grass a little ways in front of me. He landed in a crouch, his hands half fisted, but he stood straight when he spotted me. I'd never seen anything quite like his face. His eyes were entirely black, and the rings around his eyes were huge and sunken deeply into his face. If I didn't know better, I'd almost say zombie and not vampire._

" _Samantha?" His voice sounded rough._

_I growled. Of course that's who I was._

_In the back of my head, I heard Paula and Jaelyn speeding up to get here._

_He raised his hands like he was surrendering."I'm not going to hurt you. I don't speak wolf though. If you want to talk to me, you're going to have to shift back to human."_

_If he was still here, then his mate surely was too. I looked towards the house, growling._

" _They aren't here, they haven't been here in months. I have no one to translate for you currently."_

_They'd left him behind then. This surprised me. It definitely hadn't been what I was expecting. **Halt** , I thought to Jaelyn and Paula, I didn't want him seeing them just yet._

" _Please Sam? I haven't harmed anyone."_

_It was pretty obvious that he hadn't fed from the two that had been killed. Still I didn't like that he was here. Alone. I snarled, showing my teeth, then spun and raced into the forest. I shifted back to human after telling Jaelyn and Paula to join me if I signaled for them._

_I put on the clothes I was carrying with me then stalked out of the forest._

" _Why aren't you with them? The Cullens?"_

_For a second it was was almost as if the boy couldn't reply. "They left me behind. I wasn't actually one of them after all."_

" _They claimed that you were, we allowed them to remain here after agreeing that they hadn't broken the treaty. Don't you remember that?"_

" _What you just said is actually proof that I wasn't them. If I had truly been one of them then they would have definitely broken the treaty. I wasn't changed by them though, instead I was changed by a nomadic vampire intent on killing me. They simply saved my life is all."_

" _And then they took you on because you are the psychic's mate." I was sure of that. We had all seen the way the two had practically revolved around each other the first time we'd met with them._

_He froze completely for moment, and the pain that flashed in his pitch black eyes was like looking at death itself. "At the time, we assumed that we were, but it turns out it was one-sided. Once they determined that I had control of myself and understood the rules, they left me behind. They said I could use the house until I'm ready to move on."_

_His words left me feeling compassion for him, but I ignored it. It wasn't the time or the place for that. I spoke the cold, hard facts. "That wasn't our agreement. We agreed that you guys could stay until the end of this school year for appearances sake and then you would all move on."_

_He hissed in anger and my momentary compassion vanished. "Then give me until the end of the school year as you agreed with them and I will move on at that time. I will keep to the agreement, I can do nothing about their decision to leave before then."_

" _The agreement that was struck, was done with a Cullen, you just claimed that you weren't one of them."_

" _That is true, but I adhere to the same diet. I have never killed a human."_

_I could tell that he certainly hadn't killed a human recently, that much was obvious. "If you were anyone other than a friend of Bonnie's, I'd order you dead here and now. As it is though, I don't know, I need to confer with her. You will probably need to talk with her yourself actually. I will go to her and discuss and you will meet us at the border in an hour and we will figure out what needs to happen next."_

_He swallowed. "That... isn't a good idea. I need more time than that as I need to hunt first."_

_I was being generous by offering him a chance to explain his position and he was trying to get out of it?"Putting this off isn't in your best interest."_

" _I haven't fed on blood of any kind in four months. I am extremely thirsty and if I were to meet Bonnie now, I would likely kill her, not because I would want to, but because I couldn't stop myself."_

" _You seem to be doing fine talking to me." It was true, he hadn't gone for my throat yet._

" _You aren't human. Bonnie is. You smell like a wet dog to me, your blood holds no appeal whatsoever. But Bonnie isn't you and human blood is what I desire more than anything. The fact that I am choosing to reject that nature will not matter when I am this thirsty. I do not have that much control."_

_I looked back to the forest and grunted, signaling I wanted them. "Very well, Jaelyn will go with you while you hunt to make sure you don't make any mistakes and to make sure you don't get lost or something. She'll get you to the border by the end of three hours." Jaelyn came out of the forest as I spoke._

_He bit his lip. "That isn't going to work. When my kind hunt, we give ourselves over to our predatory nature. As I stated, you aren't human and you don't smell it, but when compared to deer or whatever else I might find in those three hours, you smell more human than the animals. I would turn on her if she came with me. Also, I won't get lost, and I will return of my own volition, I truly have no desire to start some sort of war, Sam."_

_I paused, considering. "Very well, you can go on your own, but you will be expected to show in two hours instead of three. If you take more than two hours I will consider whatever agreement we might have been able to come to as null and void and will come after you as we would any threat to our tribe as well as the town."_

_He swallowed again. "I understand, Sam, I will be there."_

_I glared at him before backing into the forest. A moment later, Jaelyn followed me._

The memory faded. And what caused you to go to his house today?

_We found his scent at a campsite with a dead camper. Of course his eyes weren't red when we got there._ Jaelyn thought, mentally rolling her eyes, remembering Sam's stubborn refusal to notice it.

So we've broken the treaty, what, six times now? I shook my head, disgusted. That treaty was our legacy, and apparently we were quite good at only following it when it worked to our advantage. And yet they wanted me to kill the boy under my paws for breaking it a single time.

_Seven times. If we're being technical_ , Sam thought, throwing me into another memory. One I'd never expected to see through her mind.

_I took a breath as I reached Bonnie's house, preparing to knock on the door when suddenly I heard voices in the house._

" _I got a letter from the school today," Bonnie said._

" _Oh? What did it say?" Julie's voice sounded angry, just like it always did anymore. Still. It had been seven months since Beau had become a vampire and she still hadn't turned. If it hadn't been for her growth spurt back six months ago, I'd almost assume the gene had skipped her compketely. Instead it was more like she was suppressing it._

" _The principal is concerned over the fact that you aren't turning in your homework. She even said they've caught you out back at lunch drinking alcohol."_

" _So what?"_

_I didn't know if I should go inside or not. If she shifted and did serious damage to her mom, she'd never forgive herself, I was sure._

" _Why aren't you taking school seriously?"_

" _There's no point. It's not like it did me any good when I was paying attention."_

_There was a pause. "What do you mean?"_

_"Health class. They told us the signs to look for when someone was suicidal. The signs were right there. He wasn't happy, he was hanging with the wrong crowd, and perhaps most importantly he was paranoid."_

" _Are you talking about Beau?"_

" _Yes. You should have seen his reaction when I told him ghost stories back on his first visit to the beach."_

" _Jules, he didn't... Wait a second, what ghost stories."_

" _Our legends. He took them so seriously, like they were actually true."_

The memory stopped suddenly, and Sam's eyes were watching me seriously.  _Him being a vampire is your fault. Everything that has happened to this boy started with you._

I couldn't remember how to breath for a moment. Then I remembered what he'd said. He didn't believe that. He believed he would have been killed, many times over, without them helping him.

_He deserves peace, Julie. You can give him that. You and I both know he was just an innocent boy before all of this. Let him die before that innocence is soiled._ Sam's thoughts, as other times, had an effect opposite of what she wanted.

Becaus she'd just stated he was still innocent. I looked down at him and a plan started to form. They all saw it, of course.

Jaelyn's thoughts hit me first.  _It's almost like your imprinted on him, I swear. Your way of thoughts are extremely biased._

Sam looked back at Jaelyn for a moment.  _It wouldn't surprise me if it was what was supposed to happen if Beau hadn't died before she became a wolf._

But he wasn't dead. Not really. He was right here. I ignored their thoughts completely as the exclamations about the lack of a heartbeat, no sleep, no need to eat and more were shouted at me.

Then Sam thought loudly,  _I won't follow him willingly. None of us will. You try to make him protect the tribe with us and you'll have to bend our wills to make us do that._

I knew I could do exactly what she said, I could feel the power in my body telling me to command them, but I didn't want that and she knew it. In fact, I didn't want to command any of them ever. I snapped my head back toward her, remembering what she'd said about my power being controlled by my emotions.

I thought about the anger, the grief, the guilt, and even the bitter self resentment and I pushed it all forward as I forcefully thought,  **GET. OUT. OF. MY. HEAD.**

For a moment, nothing happened. Then the sharpest pain I'd ever felt slashed through my skull, it was as if something was being physically ripped from me, my instincts screamed to stop. Instead I pushed harder.

Suddenly there was absolute silence and blissful nothingness. In fact, I almost fell on top of Beau as the emptiness swept over me, but forced myself to stay standing.

I couldn't hear them anymore, any of them. But they were all staring at me with wide eyes and I knew their thoughts had to be racing.

Finally I heard a voice in my head, but it was quiet, almost as if I was hearing it over a great distance.

_Julie?_  It was Sam. She was staring at me hard.

_Yes?_

The relief in her eyes was palpable.  _Do you have any idea what you've just done!_

_I'm a lone wolf now._  I wasn't sure if she heard that thought, so I shrugged lightly.

A moment later, I heard her voice again.  _I'm sending Jaelyn to get clothes for both of us._  Even as she thought it, Jaelyn took off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: So unlike Jacob, who had the chance to take over the pack when he first accepted his alpha rights but instantly rejected it, Julie actually did have control of the pack for about two and a half hours. It was completely accidental on her part, but as a result, to separate herself from them she had to be a bit more forceful.


	4. Part IV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer and I do not own the rights to the Twilight Saga, Life and Death, or any of the accouterments in the series.

**Part IV**

When Jaelyn made it back to us, she dropped a backpack on the ground about halfway between Sam and I.

I'd learned, from their memories, that the key to shifting back was, in essence, letting go of my anger and thinking about being human again. It sounded easy enough, in theory, in reality... My anger didn't want to be let go of.

As I was trying to decide how to make it happen, Sam thought,  _If he was supposed to be your imprint, thinking of him will help with the shift. You won't want to hurt him._

Sam stepped over to the bag that Jaelyn had dropped and I backed up, being careful where I stepped, then I walked over to the bag.

I tried to make a mental flourish in my mind, thinking, _You first._

I doubted she saw the mental flourish, but she heard the two words. She closed her eyes, raising up on her hind legs as her body pulled inward, shifting back to a very naked woman. She'd told me to think of Beau, so I looked back at him, still lying completely motionless on the ground. They all said he was a vampire, a deadly monster, yet if he was, then why was he so willing to remain completely vulnerable around us?

I closed my, imagining myself as a human again, and suddenly it was my hands and feet I was knelt on. I reached forward, unzipping the bag even as Jaelyn and Paula raced off. I recognized that they didn't go very far and glared up at Sam, who shrugged unapologetically.

I quickly pulled out a tee and a pair of jeans I knew to be mine and threw the shorts and tee to Sam, who caught them with ease.

I quickly got dressed, standing up and crossing my arms over my chest. I glared at Sam. "I want to talk to Beau alone."

Sam crossed her own arms over her chest, glaring back at me. "No."

"You yourself have admitted he could have fought back at any time. He could have thrown me off of him. He could have fled. He didn't defend himself when I attacked other than flinging his arm in front of himself to prevent me from taking off his head. He's had ample opportunity to make a move against me and against you. He's done none of it. I want to talk with him. It's obvious to me that he won't hurt me." I knew it was obvious to her, too. She was just being  _stubborn_.

"This could all be a trap. Practically every time we have met, he has asked about you. You  _saw_ that. If I leave, what guarantee do I have that he won't kill you. I won't be the one responsible for telling your mom that you were killed because I foolishly trusted a parasite."

Did one out of five meeting count as practically every time? I knew I was failing math, but I was pretty sure that was only twenty percent of the time.

"I could order you to leave, Samantha. Don't make me do it. I  _saw_ that too. You were the first of us, and you have the respect of our sisters, but I have rights that were given to me by my blood. If you force my hands then I will do what is necessary. He came because he was concerned about me. We were friends as humans, and we could be again. He can be useful to us if there are others hunting these woods. He is immortal and we are not. Or do you want me to someday have to tell your Elliott Young that we lost  _you_ because you were too blinded by your own prejudices to take advantage of what we have right in front of us to use?" I could feel the anger in me as I spoke and I tamped it down, not wanting to accidentally shift.

"You really expect us to work with him? It's our duty to kill his kind. You may not have known the legends were real before, but you do know them." Sam glared over at him before returning the glare to me.

"It's our duty to kill monsters. Nothing I saw in your mind leads me to believe he is one. No one is born a monster, their choices make them that. The way I see it, there's a way to help him choose a different path"

"You are naive," she spat.

"Am I? Or am I just willing to give him a chance because I haven't developed the hatred towards their kind yet that you have?" I wondered if she could hear my disgust towards her own inability to have a little bit of faith.

"Don't forget, I saw your grief, Julie. You have blinders just as much as I do." Her eyes flashed angrily.

I shook my head then looked over at Beau. "Beau?"

He opened an eye, leaning upward enough to see both of us. "Am I allowed to wake up now?" There was a trace of amusement in his words.

"Sam thinks you can't be trusted and wants to stay here. Can you be trusted?"

He shrugged. "I have remained on the ground – with my throat quite literally exposed – for however long it has been now. I can stay on the ground if it makes you more comfortable, but I would prefer to sit."

As far as I was concerned, that was a yes. I let my arms fall to my side, glancing at the grievous wound I'd given Beau. As bad as it had been, it seemed about half healed. I looked back at Sam. "Sam, please let me talk to him alone. It is relatively clear he doesn't intend to harm me."

She turned her glaring eyes on him. "Fine, I will leave you here with him. Mind you, I'm against this idea."

Then she turned her back on both of us, storming into the forest angrily, much like Paula and Jaelyn, the movement stopped rather suddenly. I glowered at the trees, raising my hand in a halt motion at Beau. I wanted a private conversation, and we weren't private yet.

Beau spoke softly. "It's alright, they just want to protect you."

I turned to look at him. "It's not alright. I thought you were _dead_ , Beau. I thought I'd never see you again, and now that I find out that you're here, that you're alive, I'm not being allowed to have one stinking private conversation with you."

He gave me a bitter smile. "Didn't Sam explain to you how it works when you were communicating in wolf form? I'm not alive, not really. My heart physically stopped when I became this. I am dead, living dead, but still dead."

"So what? You're still you. You're eyes are a different color now, but I can still see the shy boy who was as embarrassed to flirt with me as I was to be flirted with. You have the same face, the same hair, the same body... well, close enough." I broke off, looking him over. The lines of his face and body were harder, as if the change had burned away what little baby fat might have been still in his body. But it was still him. I was sure of that. "You can sit up now, you know."

He sat up, crossing his legs in front of him.

"I'm not really the same at all. Do you not see the wounds you made healing? If I was still a normal human, I wouldn't heal like that. I'm very fast, extremely strong, physically hard as granite, and I produce venom."

It was like he was trying to convince me that he was the monster they believed him to be. It wasn't going to work.

"Well apparently I can bite through granite now, so we're both freaks." I shook my head, trying to make myself forget biting him. "As for the quick healing, non-bleeding wounds, I'd say that's a good thing. If you'd been human and you'd received a bite like that, you'd have bled out relatively quickly. I wasn't exactly playing when I bit you."

"It's your job," he said gently.

"Yeah, well it's also my job to protect innocents. I'm not sure you don't qualify as one." I was adamant.

He blinked.

I gave him a speculative look. "Why'd you follow them across the border to get here, Beau?"

"Sam said your name after you howled. I was worried."

That wasn't exactly what I wanted. But I could work from it. "And why is that? A monster wouldn't be worried."

He looked away. "I'm not sure."

Oh, come on. One would think the lack of blushing and heart beat would make him better at lying. Not even worse. I called him on it. "Yeah right. You're as bad at lying now as you were when you were human."

"I didn't want you to find out from Sam I was just some parasite that can't be trusted. I wanted you to see me with your own eyes. We had been friends. Before –" He broke off as if he didn't know the best way to finish the statement. "Well, before all of this.

We were getting closer. "And if I'd still just been a normal human when you arrived here, would you have killed me?"

"I'd have wanted to."

Well, if it was a vampire's preferred sustenance, then that sort of made sense. Even if it was disgusting, I mentally shuddered. "Would you have followed through?"

"I don't know." That sounded like another lie.

"You didn't with my mom, and your eyes were pitch black then."

His eyes flashed in surprise. "How do you know about that?"

"Sam showed me when we were communicating in wolf form. She was trying to prove to me you were dangerous. It actually sort of proved the opposite," I explained

"I was fighting my instincts with your mother, but it's –"

I cut him off. "And apparently with some random camper before that."

More shock passed through his eyes. "Yes. It's hard though, and extremely painful, and there may come a time when I stop fighting it."

That sounded dangerously true, still we were getting to what I wanted to hear from him. "If it's so hard and painful, why fight it at all?"

"Because I don't want to be a monster," he said vehemently.

"And you've never killed anyone?"

"No."

"You've also never turned anyone," I stated. I was sure of that much. "I don't know. But it just seems logical that if you've never done anything wrong then you are still, in fact, innocent."

Back in the trees, Paula snorted.

"I think the rest of the pack disagrees with you, Julie."

I could tell that. I ignored it though.

"Yeah, well they don't get a vote on this. The border was to stop the Cullens from crossing because they weren't innocent. They may have been..." I paused as I tried to find a word that fit. "Reformed. But they were still monsters, still killers. You are not. Not yet anyways, and maybe not ever. Maybe there's someway that we can help guarantee that you learn a way to keep yourself free from that carnage. Maybe there's someway that you can help us as well."

"They aren't monsters," he exclaimed.

Even after they abandoned him so completely, he still fought on their behalf. He was a better man than me. Well, more of a martyr, anyways.

I was tired of him sitting on the ground as if he was beneath me so I stepped over to him, reaching down and taking his hands. They were unnaturally cold and hard under my skin. I forced myself to repress any visible reaction. I pulled on his hands, and he stood up the way I wanted him to. We were almost exactly the same height now.

I looked him in the eyes so he could see I was serious. "I'll forget for a second that at least one of them has turned humans in the past. Look me in the eyes, Beau, and tell me that none of them have ever killed a human and I'll believe you."

He looked away for moment before returning his eyes to mine. "Carine has never killed a human, and Royal has never fed on a human."

I found his verbiage choice interesting. "Murder is still murder, even if there wasn't blood loss involved. As for Carine, she's the matriarch to that family, she was the one that turned them, correct? And possibly you as well?" I needed clarification on that point, it had been hard to determine the truth from the memories of the others.

"She didn't turn me," he said angrily.

"Okay, that I believe. I've seen the memory of you telling my mom that back when your eyes were... pink. I couldn't be sure if you were telling the truth based on the memory." Behind me, the wolves were shuffling in the forest, probably not happy with my direction. I turned to glare at them before looking back at him. "The fact is, even if I completely ignored the fact that they have killed in the past. I can't ignore the fact that they left you completely alone. That all by itself makes them monsters in my eyes."

"It was a reasonable choice on their part." He shrugged.

Oh really? "When Sam found you. Had she been a post man, or some hiker lost in the woods... would they have survived?"

"The camper survived my visit. And I was as hungry when I ran into him as I was when Sam found me."

He wasn't answering my question. I narrowed my eyes slightly. "Which by then you'd been reminded of the price of killing a human from Sam showing up. If that camper had showed up at your house instead of Sam, would he have survived?"

He looked down. Ashamed perhaps. "Why are you asking me this?"

"I'm making a point. Answer my question."

"I'd have killed him, alright? If he'd have just stumbled up to my house, there's no way I could have stopped myself. Is that what you want to hear?" His eyes glittered with anger as he looked back up.

"Yes. It is. If they hadn't left, you'd never have gotten to that place. That makes them complete monsters."

"They couldn't have known how I'd react."

Another lie, I was sure, though he stared at me as he said it.

I stared at him a moment longer before looking toward the others where they were hiding. "As the descendant of Emmaline Black, I say he can come and go as he pleases. He is no monster."

I heard Sam start coming forward as she shouted, "You would risk the safety of the tribe for him?"

I released Beau's hands so I could turn around to properly face Sam. "What risk? He stopped himself from killing a total stranger when he was starving. He is not start starving now and the tribe is our family. He knows us, and therefore by extension he knows our family. He won't kill them. Beside, it's not like he can actually come into town, not since he's supposed to be dead."

"Our ancestors would not agree to this."

I was a hundred percent sure she was right. "We can't know that. What we can know is that he has not killed anyone, and that he is fighting to retain what he can of his humanity even if he is immortal now. We turn our backs on him and it will be our faults if he ever kills, not his." I was sure of that too.

"How can you possibly reason that out?" She was shaking slightly as she stopped a little ways in front of me.

My voice was cold. "Everyone needs family, friends, support. You know that better than most, Sam. Or did you enjoy being all alone and stuck in wolf form for days the first time you shifted?"

"That's different." Her shaking became more visible.

"How is it different? Perhaps if one of the old pack had still been here when it happened, you'd have been able to shift back in only a few hours." I almost said that perhaps things would be different between her and Lee, but decided that would be cruel.

"We're protectors. That's how it's different."

"And why can't he be a protector too?"

"Because he's a bloodsucking fiend," Sam screeched angrily.

At the same moment, Beau asked behind me, "Wait. What?"

"He hasn't tried to suck my blood yet, or yours." I turned back towards Beau. "You heard me. Help protect this town. Help protect Forks. You're in a unique position even we aren't, and you can fight with us to defend against others of your kind."

"How would that even work?" He sounded confused and concerned.

I figured I could assuage the concern. "Obviously it wouldn't include the Cullens, if you don't want it to. But we have normal human killing vampires that pass through from time to time. Sometimes we even have ones that decide they like it here. Which is what appears to be going on now. So help us. Patrol the forest with us. Fight with us. Perhaps by being a part of protecting humanity it will help you keep hold of yours."

"Only one problem. I'm not much of a fighter."

I didn't believe that. If fighting was instinctive for my kind. It probably was for his as well. "Then we'll teach you." I'll teach you, I stressed in my mind.

"But why?" He was even more confused.

I looked for the words to help him see what I saw. "I think you and I are both at a crossroads here, Beau. I think if you walk away from here and have no support then eventually you will give up." I still heard him saying that he may some day stop trying. "It probably won't be today, perhaps not even this year, but someday. And I think if I walk away without helping you then I'll be a more heartless monster than anything killing in the woods. More than that, I think if I someday had to kill you because I was too foolish to realize I could have saved you... Let's just say I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I did that." It had been hard enough when I'd thought he'd killed himself.

The pained noise that Sam made behind me didn't sound human. She had to understand though, I was sure. If, in another life, we'd been meant to be imprints, how could I feel any different?

I turned to look at her. "I'll talk with mom and the other elders, Sam. But I think they will agree with me on this."

"I don't see why they would." The way she said it, told me she believed they'd agree too.

"Because they'll realize the same thing I have. The world is changing. We have to change with it. There's never before been a pack as big as this one is very soon going to become. There's already four of us, and based on what I've seen in with my closest friends, at least three more will soon be joining us." Embrianna, Quilla and Sarah.

"He's part of the reason there's going to be so many of us."

I wasn't as sure about that as she was. "Is he? If you're blaming Beau for you becoming a wolf, then things have changed even more than I think they have. After all, he was human and halfway across the country when you first turned."

"You know what I mean."

"No, I don't."

"Don't be dense, Julie," she snarled the words at me.

"I'm not." I turned my back on Sam, my eyes dismissive. "I need to talk with my mom, but before I do, say yes."

Beau shook his head. "I don't know. Can what you're suggesting even work?"

I was quite sure he did know. "All we can do is try. Say yes."

"Okay. Fine."

"Good. Then you should go home for now. There are people I need to talk to in order for us to truly make this work. But I'll come there soon. I promise." I knew it had to be that way. There was no way I could bring him to an elder meeting. The thought of him being at one almost made me smile.

"Will she be safe with you?" He looked past me towards Sam.

"The only person she isn't safe to be with is you," Sam said angrily.

Beau's teeth flashed dangerously in something similar to a grin. "Make sure it stays that way. Or I  _will_  be finding out if werewolf blood is more satisfying than animal." He spun away from me, taking off into the forest.

I turned around and stomped past Sam, grabbing the backpack off the ground as I started to make the trek back to La Push.


	5. Part V

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer and I do not own the rights to the Twilight Saga, Life and Death, or any of the accouterments in the series.

**Part V**

When I reached my house, I stormed in. Of course, my mom was gone, most likely still at Charlie's. I muttered a curse.

I spun back to the door, seeing Sam was waiting in the entryway. "I'm stealing your truck so I can go get my mom," I said angrily. I didn't care if she disagreed with me. I'd either hot wire the truck, or she'd give me her keys.

She dropped her keys in my hand as I stepped by. It was probably the sensible thing to do. At least if she wanted her truck to stay in one piece.

"Get the others together. I'll bring my mom back."

I was a woman on a mission, a woman possessed with a need that fueled me forward. As such, I didn't fully notice as I reached Sam's truck, got in, and started driving to Forks.

I reached Forks in just over ten minutes, doing the twenty minute drive in half the time. I refused to even admit to myself how fast I had to be going to get here that quick.

I shut off the engine, getting out and stalking up to the door. I didn't bother to knock, as I'd already determined, I was on a mission, and that mission included getting my mother home... as in fifteen minutes ago.

As I stomped into Charlie's house with no warning, I happened to see him jumping back from my mom, his eyes widening, a blush spreading through his cheeks.

Was he...? Had they been...?

I blinked.

"I don't have time to dissect what I just saw," I said sharply. "Mom, you need to come with me. You're needed for important tribal issues right away."

Bonnie spun her wheelchair, glaring at me. I admitted, in the back of my mind, that I was acting like a spoiled brat. Then I remembered all the secrets she'd been keeping from me. The same secrets she was keeping from the man in the room with us. My pretentiousness was within my rights.

"You do not have the right to speak to me like that, young lady," Bonnie thundered.

"Unless you want me telling Charlie stories about a boy with golden eyes and him getting a very  _visual_  showing of just how  _angry_  I can get, I suggest you come with me."

My words left no room for doubt on what I meant.

Bonnie's eyes widened. She turned halfway back to Charlie. "Uh, Charlie, this sound really important. We'll have to continue some other time."

I resisted the urge to gag.

"Okay..." Charlie didn't seem to know what to make of what was going on.

I stepped forward and grabbed the handles of mom's wheelchair, quickly wheeling her out of the house. I got her in the truck as quickly as possible before situating myself in the driver's seat.

"So you've finally shifted," she murmured.

"Yes." I started the engine, pulling away from the curb.

"Julie, there's so much –"

I cut her off. "I don't want to hear it. You could have warned me. You should have. I've been grieving him for nine months! And all this time, you knew he was alive." I hit eighty just before we got out of town.

"Slow down, Julie Elizabeth Black!"

I turned my face to glare at her for a moment then I looked at the road again, hitting the gas pedal even harder.

The truck was going over a hundred by the time we reached La Push. I pulled it to a stop at the Quileute Tribal Council building, getting out of the truck and throwing the keys to Sam – who had come out the instant her truck had pulled in – before I pulled the wheelchair out of the back.

"Thanks,"I muttered, certain Sam would hear me.

More gentle than I had so far been, I helped get my mom into the wheelchair.

Holly and Saul Clearwater were in the council building along with Quilla Ateara and Tara Uley – who was the eldest sister of Jordan Uley, Sam's aunt. Technically, she was as much an elder as the rest of them, but I was surprised to see her here.

Jaelyn and Paula were also here.

"I hear congratulations on your first shift are in order," Quilla rumbled, her voice thick from years of smoking tobacco.

I snorted.

"Well something is sure in order. I'm not sure that's it." I crossed my arms over my chest.

Quilla shared a look with Holly.

"So..." I started, looking around the room. "Let me see if I've got everything straight. The Cullens moved to Forks about three and a half years ago. A few months later, Samantha, being the oldest of my generation, shifted. A little over a year later, Jaelyn shifted, and finally, a few months after that, so did Paula.

"The start of the following year, Beau moved to Forks. A few weeks after he moved here, I met him on first beach and freaked him out with some scary stories I certainly had no reason to believe were true. He fell in love with the one Cullen, Edythe, and they started a relationship while he was still human.

"Around of April of last year. Beau was hunted down by another vampire and almost killed. In fact, in order for him to survive, he had to become a vampire as well. The wolves in this room, excepting me, believing – with no proof whatsoever – that the the treaty had been broken, visited the Cullens. Where not one, but three different people set them straight. Carine, Edythe, and Beau.

"For some reason, this wasn't enough, so we insisted that they meet us on their side of the border. During that meeting my mom, Bonnie, agreed that the treaty hadn't been broken. For months, we stayed on our side, they stayed on theirs. Then, four months ago, the Cullens left. For awhile, all was right with the world, the tribe celebrated. Unbeknownst to us, the Cullens left their newest addition behind.

"Then, just about a month ago, a murder occurred quite a ways away, and clearly not in our territory. Still, Sam and the others, decided to check it out, invading the Cullen territory, yet again. A couple weeks later, a second murder occurred, much closer to Forks. We, yet again, broke our end of the treaty."

"They weren't even here," Paula said angrily.

"The treaty doesn't specify that they have to be here for us to stay on our side. And as Sam still wants to call Beau an  _ambassador_ of theirs, then one of them was still here." I took a calming breath. "Now then, back to my story. Sam and you guys were all relatively certain that the Cullens were gone, but even so, you decided to go check their house a few days ago.

"You found Beau. Who, probably because he doesn't know any better, didn't kill you guys the way he should have. And instead of just leaving, or at the very least, giving him a reasonable amount of time to hunt... you insisted he meet my mom, yet again. During this meeting, you make the decision as acting chief that he can stay as long as he wants." I stared at Sam as I spoke. "Of course, what you didn't tell Bonnie, the one that the Chiefdom was born to, was that you put a stipulation on it.

"Four days later, that's today, you discover another camper is dead and you go to confront Beau, again. When you arrive at his place and see that his eyes are gold and not red, you attack him anyways. Thankfully, you managed to get talked down. At about that time I shifted, where I got to learn all this oh so interesting information. Any disagreements?"

The elders looked at each other, but didn't reply. Paula opened her mouth. I glared at her and she shut it again.

"Didn't think so." I closed my eyes for a moment before snapping them back open. "So, now that we have the basics out of the way, we need to talk about the other info I've learned. You see, apparently, I'm the true alpha. The new chief, as it so happens. Am I wrong?"

The elders glanced at each other again, before my mom finally answered. "Technically, that's correct."

"Good, then I want the treaty when it comes to Beau revoked. Beau is as innocent as any human and should be free to come and go as he pleases."

"What!?"

"No."

"Not as long as I have power in me."

All of that and more was said simultaneously, but the last comment was said by Samantha. I stared her down.

"Any power you have, I gave you. Never forget that. You don't have to involve yourself with him if you don't want to. That was why I released you, but you will respect  _my_  decision, because it is  _my_  right."

"Not if your judgment is in question!" Sam stated sharply.

"What do you mean, Sam?" Holly asked.

"I think Beau was supposed to be her imprint, but because of what happened to him the connection can't be fully made. When Julie saw him, it was as if her entire world shifted. It wasn't as powerful as what Jaelyn or I went through, but it seems like it's a real possibility."

"Is what she's saying true?" Bonnie asked.

"She's right that I felt... better, knowing that he's alive, at least in some form. However, I don't know about the rest. Is it possible?" I shrugged. "I suppose, but it's also possible that I'm just reacting to him the way I am because I see him as a really good friend. I don't know. Frankly, I'm not sure I'd be able to tell you. The real question you should ask is, even if it is true, does that impair my judgment, or make me the most solid judge of character here?"

The elders glanced at each other again.

"More important than all that though, obviously, even though I technically have the right to make this dictate, I can't exactly enforce it without the support of the elders. So which way would you rather have it. Because it is going to be one or the other. We can either let Beau be treated like the innocent he is, help him some and in return he might help us protect Forks and the tribe...

"Or... option two, we reinstate the treaty. The wolves stay on this side of the line and Beau stays on his. And when the murders continue – which I say will be highly likely, given that there's already been three killed – we ignore it. It isn't our problem after all. Since that isn't our territory. Actually what I should say, is that they should ignore it." I waved my hand at Sam, Jaelyn, and Paula. "I, on the other hand, being a lone wolf, see no reason why I can't just... excommunicate myself from the tribe. Instead, I'll go live with Beau. That way, when they break the treaty again, which they undoubtedly will, I can be there to kick their surmountable butts."

"What do you mean you're a lone wolf?" Quilla rumbled.

Sam beat me to the reply. "She kicked us out of her mind. I'd never thought such a thing was even possible."

"Sam and I are both alphas. I was born that way. She, on the other hand, elevated herself into the position. There can't be two alphas in a pack. It had to be done this way." I paused for a moment, looking at Sam briefly before I turned my stare on my own mother. "Frankly, I'm not sure if there can even be two alpha here on the reservation without one of us going after the other's throat."

More glances were shared between the elders.

"I know how these meetings work, and I know you'll have to think about it. So go ahead and think about it, but you have your options. One way, we end up with a new ally. The other way, you all end up with me as a potential enemy." I turned and walked out the building before anyone could stop me.

The instant I was outside, I ran toward the forest, yanking my clothes off once I was in it. I thought of all that my mom had been keeping from me, feeling the anger and betrayal start to boil over. I started to shake. I let the shift take me.

…

I ran for hours, racing for the sheer purpose of trying to burn off all the emotions that were still running through my head. A couple of times during the night, I heard Sam's mental voice calling out to me. I completely ignored her.

It wasn't until late the next night before I got back home. Mom wasn't there. A large part of me was glad she was gone. Frankly, I didn't want to talk to her until she was ready to give me an answer one way or the other.

I went to bed, sleeping until well past noon, the hours running in my wolf form without rest catching up to me.

When I woke, my mom was waiting on me.

"The council and I have agreed to allow you to revoke the treaty." Her arms were crossed over her chest.

"Good." I smiled.

"We don't like being blackmailed into a decision, Julie."

"I didn't blackmail you. I gave you two legitimate options. You made a choice based on the options I gave. Nothing about that is blackmail." I picked a letter up off the table that I'd pulled out of the mailbox the night before when I got home. It was another letter from the school. I was quite sure it was about my  _stellar_ performance and attitude. "This on the other hand is. Either fill out the paperwork so I can drop out of school all official like, or I'm just going to stop going." I shrugged.

My mom's eyes flashed angrily.

I beat her to talking "You decide which way you'd prefer. I have a vampire to tell the good news to."

I raced out of the house, yanking my clothes off as soon as I was in the tree line, using a band of leather I'd tore out of a dream catcher in my bedroom so I could tie the clothes to my leg the way I'd seen the others do, then I focused and shifted, racing toward my destination.

As soon as I saw and smelled the house through the tree line. I pulled to a stop, shifting back to human and putting my clothes on.

I walked forward, stepping out of the trees a minute later. My gaze went to the porch, spotting Beau immediately. I let out a relieved sigh.

"I was worried for a moment that I'd imagined you were still alive," I said

"Well, I was worried you were never going to show."

"I'm sorry, the elders had to spend time deliberating. They were worried that my judgment wasn't sound because of our old friendship, because of what we might have been if you were still human." I still wasn't sure if that was true or not, but whatever the case was, he was here, and I was happy he was alive.

"What does that mean?"

"It doesn't matter because you aren't human and there's no way to know if it would have happened that way or not."

I knew in my heart that I couldn't let it matter. For many reasons.


End file.
